17.10.2005

This Year of Love

Something really weird happened in my life and still now, I have no explanation for it. It's just like someone esle is living my life without me. I will try to be clearer about this episode of my life. Last May, I had just finished my first year in a business school and passed all my courses with an A. I had been also in the president's list, and sure that it was a honor for me. You might wonder why I'm using the past tense to talk about my business school because I'm normally suposed to still pursuemy studies there. During that year at my business school, I realized that my life did not resemble at all at what I had been expecting during my secondary school years. It was simply the contrary of that university life that I was eager to live; I had to be blocked in a far region where it is snowy and cold, I had to live in a comunity of students having the same wrong ideas and ideals, and also I had to be controled about all my actions...it wasn't the life I dreamed of. Sure that our dreams never completely become true, but only a part of them. Only in my case, nothing was going well, and I felt oppresed. The only thing that I really liked was my studies! But it wasn't a reason to forget about my social life, because it was simply impossible to have a normal social life there.

It had been very hard for me to decide for the change because it implied persuading my parents, restarting from the beginning and also giving up my scolarship at the my business school. It's sure that it wasn't an easy task to perform, my parents were sure that it was the best university ever exists, and blamed me about my instability. But I wasn't about giving up my plans. It was important for me, and I promised that I will succeed doing it. Sometimes, I was really fed up with the huge number of documents to prepare for my visa and all the staff, but I kept doing it. Almost everybody thought that I made a wrong choice, but nothing would have changed my goal.

Now, I'm living at la Cote d'Azur, it's really nice and sunny. I do feel the difference between the last year and now, and I'm pleased to do what I always worked for. Sure that I left the neast of the campus , and that living on my own implies more responsabilties...But I'm ready to be as responsible as I'm expected to, and even more. It's a dream come true...but not always a dream in the real life.

One important thing that I didn't talked about is that vital organ that everyone of us has, and that controls our lives physically and emotionally. It's the hear, my heart that guides me troughout the oceans and the cultures to this part of the world. At any moment I didn't asked my mind, because my heart took the whole place, and decided for me. Sure that you might imagine that my heart does not belong to me...and you're right. Still, he guides me. emotionally, we talk about love, passion...I don't have a word to describe it, I just keep saying that it's a splendid and gorgeous experience of life. Incousciously, it does many good things that you don't realise...love makes you happier, more indulgent, more beautiful and finally makes you feel loved. It's the best therapy of self-esteem. If love makes me move on to Nice...it can makes others to do crazier things. It's the love of my life, the love of my studies and the love of a person...

Commentaires

le chercheur Said Lakhal menacé de mort par des islamistes

le chercheur Said Lakhal spécialiste dans les groupes islamistes , et en particulier Al Adl wa El Ihssane , et qui publiait ses articles depuis longtemps dans le journal Al Ahdath Al maghribia, ( a voire a ce sujet le site d'Al Ahdath ), vient de recevoir une lettre le menaçant de mort s'il n'arrete pas de critiquer ces mouvements
la lettre est signée par on certain Abou El Hajjae suspecté d'etre un element du groupe Al Jamaa Al Islamiya al maghribiya , filiale de la fameuse jamaa algérienne du meme nom

jusqu'a maintenant seules 3 organisations ont declaré leur soutien a Mr Lakhal; l'AMDH, la jeunesse Itihadia et l'organisation contre la haine et le racisme
la société civile, les intellectuels, les journalistes, les partis politiques ,,,, tous restent indifferents et dans un mutisme total devant cette menace
peut etre ils attendent que l'acte soit commis pour présenter leurs condoléances a la femme et aux enfants du victime

ce qui est étonnant chez nos activistes de la societé civile c'est qu'ils font tant de tapage si quelqu'un est simplement insulté ou maltraité par un agent d'autorité , ( le cas d'el mrabet, de benchemsi et beaucoup d'autres)mais restent indiferents devant une vraie menace de mort
quelle hypocrisie malheureusement
Mr lakhal a été au moins courageux en répondant que rien ne l'empechera dans ses convictions meme une menace de mort

il est de notre devoir peut etre tous de lancer une campagne de solidarité avec l'interessé

Ecrit par : hamid bajjou | 31.10.2005

Très beau billet. J’aime bien quoique je regrette que tu ne blogue plus depuis :)
Ce que je retiens de ton histoire chère ami ec’est qu’il ne faut jamais hésiter à se remettre en cause et recommencer. Réconcilier la raison est le cœur est parfois un déchirement ! Mais faut toujours se décider pour aller de l’avant. C’est ça l’essentiel.

un bonsoir de Paris.

Ecrit par : Larbi | 28.11.2005

hi hind,
i m currently studyin in the university you left becoz of the lack of social life. It's my third year there and I m really happy of bein there...i was just wonderring why you are so disgussed about it...have u tried to have this social life before giving up?

Ecrit par : samia | 20.12.2005

Hi Samia,

I answer yes to your question, I had my own friends and a real social life. I was involved in clubs...but life didn't suit to me because I found that people were so superficial and not responsable enough. What you are living there is not real life...it is just an illusion. But it's my choice, and i'm glad for people who like it.

Ecrit par : Hind | 20.12.2005

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